I had just finished 2nd grade when my mom and dad decided we would homeschool. The private school that I attended was very expensive for my family, and as we struggled more and more, homeschooling seemed like the way to go. We began to prepare during the summer. Mom gathered magazines from different curriculum companies, evaluated our budget, and sat down to make a selection. In 1987, there were no websites filled with pages of books featuring colorful, detailed descriptions and sample downloads. No mom blogs or YouTube videos detailing experiences using certain curriculum companies. We didn’t even know anyone personally that homeschooled at the time.
My mom chose a “paces” style curriculum (think-Lifepac, ACE, etc). I picked out some neat folders, pencils, and notebooks at Walmart, and we dug in. Each day, I sat at the table and did my work. We made it exactly 2 weeks before we both looked at each other and *at the same time* burst into tears. We had both been holding in our frustration. Me, missing my friends at school and adjusting to a huge lifestyle change. Mom, trying her best but feeling inadequate and probably feeling like she failed me. My parents put me back into school the next day.
If you are considering homeschooling, or a new homeschooler, this story might seem like a nightmare that you don’t want to experience. Don’t worry! You can avoid this experience or a similar one by doing one amazingly, simple thing: deschooling. Deschooling starts with YOU, Momma! Here are some ways to deschool:
Get Rid of the Traditional School Mindset
What is deschooling? It’s taking a new look at the things you’ve always considered normal involving family and education. It’s a transition from being school-focused to being family-focused. It’s unlearning habits, routines, and expectations. It’s reigniting a love for learning.
We have been brainwashed to think traditional school routines are “normal”. Sitting in wooden desks under flourescent lights, surrounded by 20+ kids our exact age, asking permission to go to the bathroom, having 15-20 minutes to scarf down a sandwich or cafeteria lunch…HOW did these things become normal??? To get rid of this mindset, you have to question everything. Warning: these questions might lead down a rabbit hole of no return. (Do tests/quizzes really prove a child learned the material? Are worksheets the most effective way to keep up with progress? Does it really take 7 hours a day to learn? Do we have to get up at 7am to start school?)
Homeschool is NOT school at home. It requires a completly different mindset and approach.
Don’t Stress
I cannot tell you how much I wish my parents had this advice before we started homeschooling. I truly believe the following list could have changed our homeschool experience:
- Take a deep breath. Hit reset. You don’t have to know everything to homeschool; you just have to be willing to learn.
- Get rid of your routine. Sleep in. We really don’t get the proper amount of sleep these days anyway. Stay up late. Eat when you’re hungry. Take a nap. Do something out of your ordinary routine. (There will be a time for a new routine once you break some old habits.)
- Go play. Have fun with your kids. Be silly. Tell some funny jokes. Laugh. Smile. Play a game, do a puzzle, play legos or dolls.
- Go to the library. See what books your kids are drawn to. Grab a dozen or two to take home. Make sure you get a read-aloud.
- Explore. Go to a museum. Take a walk in nature. Go to the river. Do some fishing or bird watching. Go skating, bowling, yard saling, thrift store, historic site. The possibilities are endles no matter where you live.
- #1 Best Advice: Make talking to your kids a priority. Listen to them. Look them in the eye when they talk. BE PRESENT. When kids are in school 7 hours a day, you miss a lot of time with them. Now is the time to catch up. Learn what makes them tick, what’s on their heart and mind, and little clues about what may be worrying them.
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Remember Why You’re Here
You probably have so many thoughts going through your head right now, wondering if you’ve made the right decision. You are entertaining the thought of homeschooling because you are bothered by what you see, what you’ve possibly experienced, and want a better future for your kids. Trust your God-given conscience. You do not have to live in the mediocrity of “normal”. Think outside the box. Don’t forget the happenings that brought you to this place and time. Let God lead your heart, and don’t ever let doubt creep in.
Think About Goals
In these beginning stages, it’s a good time to start thinking about your goals. Why are you homeschooling? What motivated you to homeschool? Think about what kind of adults you want your children to grow up to be. Set priorities in their education. I love the definition of education according to Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:
EDUCA’TION, noun [Latin educatio.] The bringing up, as of a child, instruction; formation of manners. education comprehends all that series of instruction and discipline which is intended to enlighten the understanding, correct the temper, and form the manners and habits of youth, and fit them for usefulness in their future stations. To give children a good education in manners, arts and science, is important; to give them a religious education is indispensable; and an immense responsibility rests on parents and guardians who neglect these duties.
We have two main goals in our homeschool: to teach our kids to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, & mind and to become lifelong learners. Instead of forcing education down their throats, I want to light a little fire in their soul, and occasionally fan those flames. Often, there are so many distractions in life that we lose track of our priorities. Set as many goals as you want, but prioritize them in a way that makes sense in your life.
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Family First
Family is at the heart of homeschooling because family is homeschool. It’s not just about academics—it’s a way of life. Homeschooling allows us to prioritize what is best for our family, shaping our days around our values, needs, and relationships. Unlike traditional schooling, where schedules are rigid and dictated by outside forces, homeschooling gives us the freedom to adjust and adapt as life happens. Whether it’s pausing lessons to care for a sick child, taking a break to enjoy a spontaneous family adventure, or incorporating real-life skills into our learning, our family’s well-being always comes first. Education is woven into the fabric of our daily lives, making homeschooling not just an educational choice but a lifestyle.
I wish you the best in your new journey! Comment below with any concerns you have. °❀⋆ I’d love to hear from you!
